Perspective is Everything.

When I woke today I felt good...until I moved.  Oh how my body hurts.  My upper back muscles, chest, upper arms, thighs, butt, stomach.  I feel like I was hit by a truck.


It was hard to get out of bed.  I discovered my want to had gotten up and hightailed it in the night.


The 12 week challenge requires that we attend at least 3 body beating sessions and to try and aim for five.  After I rolled out of bed and was dropping myself onto the toilet I realized....I was in trouble.  I had all the best intentions of going this morning and putting in five sessions this week but.... struggling to get on and off the pot made me think twice.


Today I decided that I am giving my body one more day to recover from the cruel and unusual punishment I put myself through yesterday.  I mean...if yesterday was bad enough and I was last...were I to put the Dori of today against the Dori of yesterday --- yesterdays Dori would feel phenomenal as she beat the marshmallow stuffing out of today's Dori.


I will be honest with whoever is reading this....the thought of quitting has flirted around the corners of my mind.  Maybe I took on more than this diabetic, 55 year old gal can handle.  Maybe... diabetes has done enough damage that Im expecting too much of myself.  Maybe I need to aim a little lower and join the KROC center gym and work out at my own pace.  Maybe I need to listen to my body.....Maybe I'm just doubting my own ability here as my body screams in pain.


And here's the lesson of the day...IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.  Perspective is everything.


I called my sister yesterday and balled on my way home and I like what she said and has said again to me today.  You are not competing against anyone...you are competing against yourself.  This is true in more ways than one.  Suddenly I have morphed into two people...the angel and the devil.  The mature woman and the teeny bopper lacking self esteem.  The aged competitor against the young I-can-do-anything Albright girl that used to be.


So I realize this...I could look at my pain and say -- oh no.  This pain is my body telling me I can't do it.  This pain is telling me this is too much, too fast.  Or I can choose a different perspective.  The pain I am feeling is Diabetes dying.


That is how I choose to see it.  So every time I move and hurt I am telling myself...you feel that?  YOU FEEL THAT?  THAT IS THE DRAGON HURTING.  THAT IS YOUR DIABETES FEELING THE PINCH. 


And that, folks, is how I've chosen to see it today.


Die, dragon, die.